In honor of the reopening of the movies and the “new normal”, we brought in our very own Seth Monyette to look back on the past to remind us of what we have to look forward to in the future.
Note from the writer: Hello folks, here at Scrawls on Cinema we are launching Top 10 Week. None of the other Scrawls contributors have agreed to this, nor have I run it by a single one of them, but I find that lighting a fire under someone’s… YOU KNOW WHAT… often leads to one’s best work. Be sure to tune in over the course of the week for some industry-shattering listicles.
Folks, in honor of the imminent Return to the Theater, I have decided to finally document some of the more colorful moviegoing experiences I have accumulated in my lifetime. Yes, it is time to put these encounters from pen to paper to scanner to computer to Word doc to Scrawls on Cinema. 😊 What follows are but a few of those once in a lifetime movie-going experiences that happen to us all, which lead us marching right back into those hallowed grounds of cinematic bliss – a movie theater.
#10 – That Time Leonardo DiCaprio Entered my Theater with a Flamethrower and Torched a Dude Alive to Promote Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
“Leo! Leo! Leo!” – the chant echoing in that theater as this occurred is forever engrained in my brain. We even convinced him to pop a few un-popped kernels left in the bottom of our popcorn bag! Unforgettable.
#9 – When I Accidentally Saw the Parody Film Dumbkirk – AND LOVED IT
An excellent parody film that beat for beat follows the events of Dunkirk however, and here’s the twist, every character speaks at an alarmingly slow speed, and none understand how to operate a gun. Low stakes, but hilarious!
#8 – When Jared Leto Dapped Me Up in the Men’s Restroom and Then Challenged Me to a Breakdance Battle While Still in the Men’s Restroom
Our battle lasted hours, until finally Jared conceded. Afterwards he handed me a t-shirt, and by the time I read it I realized he had adorned one himself. The shirt read, “The Piss Break-dancers – Starring Seth & Jared”
#7 – That Time I Did a Butter Keg-Stand for No Reward
Although you could argue that there certainly was a reward!
#6 – That Time I Yelled at the Projectionist: “Ehhhhh how about ya do better next time pal! The movie was upside fuckin’ down!”
Look folks, we all know that Projectionists usually bring their A-Game. Usually, I love and adore the artistic interpretation that a projectionist can bring to the movie-going experience, but in this instance the guy blew it and I got a chance to provide a critique directly to Hollywood (which was heard by the way, as my next movie-going experience provided a right-side-up film!). As the final cog in the Hollywood machine the projectionist’s role is oft-overlooked, yet ever so critical and with a surprisingly large amount of artistic input. I for one, am typically in love with that classic projectionist-director back and forth, where the projectionist says, “No this shot should be over HERE now,” or, “how ‘bout a little bam bam flipadoo when the plane does the spinny maneuver!” But the director’s over there screamin’, “No! No! My vision! My vision! Oh God, here we go!” What comes of their marriage… This is why we love the movies.
#5 – When Santa Entered the Theater While Die Hard Was Playing and Proclaimed it Not a Christmas Movie… But a Channukah Movie???
Look I know we all get sensitive about this kinda stuff, especially around this time of year, but the man himself cleared it up and so let’s shut the argument down, alright PC Police!?
#4 – When Steven Spielberg Sat Next to me During War Horse and Kept Leaning Over to Whisper in My Ear “This is my favorite part.”
My craziest brush-in with a Hollywood GOD to date. Have you ever had to hush one of your idols? I sure have!
#3 – That Time I Saw Aquaman in 4D and Nearly Drowned
Talk about immersion! I was immersed in water! (RIP to my good friend Alex, who did not manage to escape the theater in time.)
#2 – The Time the Ticket Salesman was Actually James Cameron Doing an Undercover Boss
As he is the boss of the movies, James decided to see “what it’s like” for a regular old movie theater employee, and boy was he stunned when I recognized him underneath that beehive wig!!! What can I say, I know my James “Camera-Man” when I see him!
#1 – “Run Forrest Run!”